


It's like I'm not myself

by Zurela



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Manipulation, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Keith needs his space family back, Lance needs to be listened to, M/M, Shiro (Voltron) Has a Clone, Shiro needs a break, can be read as klance or gen, sorry kuron but you're evil, warning for descriptions of choking but it's mild
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-07 03:31:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14662401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zurela/pseuds/Zurela
Summary: Prompt: "I don't know if you take requests, but could you write a voltron fanfiction where Clone Shiro starts to treat Lance worse and worse until Keith returns to and instantly notices a problem that he will not let continue?"





	It's like I'm not myself

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: mild description of someone being (non-fatally) choked, emotional manipulation, silencing, and feeling trapped in abusive situations
> 
> This work has not been edited, sorry! Let me know if you catch any mistakes and I'll fix them :)

Ever since Shiro’s disappearance from his lion and subsequent return, things around the castle ship were always changing and off-kilter. Not that Shiro was at fault for that; he had just been held hostage by the Galra for the second time and nearly died in his escape. It wasn’t even just him, either. Keith had taken over as leader and then stepped down the moment he found his footing. Allura became a paladin, the paladins swapped lions, Matt returned, Lotor joined the team, Zarkon was killed… things had changed so much. It gave Lance emotional whiplash.

That being said, who was he to blame Shiro for starting to falter under all the stress? He had held up well when they first arrived, but things weren’t like that anymore. They had all begun to feel it; everyone was a little snappier and a little quicker to become panicked or frustrated. The weight of the universe only grew heavier and heavier by day.

It started small.

Lance looked up to Shiro so much; he was constantly torn between trying to please him and trying to stand up for his own ideas. Sometimes those things overlapped, and he received praise for his strategic thinking and creative ideas that minimized harm and risk. 

Other times, those things conflicted. Lance knew he had a tendency to push. First it was being persistent in his ideas, only to have them shot down by Shiro. He was told to be quiet, to follow his leader, to try and cooperate better. 

It felt like being scolded by an older sibling. He had experience with that, knew he could get under people’s skin when he wouldn’t let things go. Sometimes they would bicker a bit, butting heads and going back and forth before taking time to cool down and move on. It was tense, but not unhealthy.

Change happened slowly, both with everyday life on the ship as well as between the two of them. Shiro certainly wasn’t targeting him; he seemed to snap more and more lately. Pidge had taken to avoiding him and doing her own thing, buried far enough in her robots and computers to make choices that Shiro didn’t understand well enough to criticize. Hunk always stuck to his beliefs, but more and more seemed to go along with what Shiro said to avoid conflict. Even Allura seemed to follow him without much argument anymore, since he and Lotor always seemed to collaborate on their plans.

Lance was outnumbered. That didn’t mean he would back down, though.

Their latest plan involved using Allura’s newfound Altean alchemy abilities to locate and stop Haggar. Lotor had voiced his concern about her in the past, which had only increased since Zarkon had been killed. Allura’s abilities, he claimed, may have been the only thing powerful enough to stop her.

It was a risky move, though. Shiro agreed with Lotor, saying they should move into Galra territory and cut her off before she realizes Allura had connected with the white lion. But it involved sending Allura in by herself while everyone else kept other enemies off her back.

“It’s too dangerous,” Lance argued while they convened on the main deck. “Allura only just unlocked these powers a few weeks ago. Haggar’s been this… nasty space witch for thousands of years.”

Shiro huffed out a sigh and turned to him. “We need to strike while we’re ahead, Lance. The more time she has to gather intel on us, the more she’ll be able to find a way to defeat this too. This is the only leverage we have.”

“It isn’t!” Lance bit his tongue to keep himself from shouting. This would not become another fight. “Look, we still have Voltron. We’ve got more allies than ever. We’ve got the talking purple shampoo commercial over here with way more access to Galra info than we’ve ever had. You can’t put Allura’s life on the line like this.”

“Lance,” Allura interrupted. “I know this seems dangerous, but perhaps Shiro is right. Altean alchemy is very powerful. Facing the white lion was dangerous as well, but I survived that just fine.”

“But you almost didn’t! That was a huge risk too, and it paid off because we got lucky and because you’re a great Altean. But we’ve dealt with this witch before, and she’s unpredictable. Our luck is due to run out eventually, and I’m not going along with something that risks all our lives.”

“Lance,” Shiro barked out. “Stop doing whatever you think is best for you. This is about what’s best for the team. We can’t be selfish right now.”

Lance choked on his breath. “You think _I’m_ being selfish? You’re the one putting everything on the line because you’re too stubborn to admit that I’m right!”

“No, that’s the thing. You’re _not_ right. I fly the black lion. I’m the leader for a reason. You follow _me_.”

Lance froze.

_”I dunno… my head…”_

“Whatever,” he said. “I’m out of here. Let me know when you’ve come up with a better plan.”  
__________

 

The training deck had become something of an escape for Lance more and more these days. It was bizarre; Lance could nearly laugh at himself for how much he acted like Keith now. Training all the time, becoming the odd one out in the group. Maybe the red lion had some sort of personality-shifting magic in it. Or maybe he was just losing it.

Shiro hadn’t changed his mind, and his plan was still being set in motion. It would still take a while to have everything ready in time, and the pressure was on. Lotor worked with Allura constantly to help her master her new power. Hunk and Pidge set about reinforcing all their lions as well as the castle ship to be resistant to Haggar’s magic. Coran moved between the two of them, using his knowledge of Altean history, technology, and magic to help them all.

Lance had been training. Gun, sniper rifle, sword, hand-to-hand combat… he had a lot of new techniques under his belt, and not a lot of time devoted to mastering them all.

Shiro had supervising. He spent most of his time with Lotor and Allura as well, though his lack of knowledge about Alteans seemed to create a wedge between them. He mostly avoided Pidge and Hunk for the same reason. 

He knew a lot about fighting, though.

Lance appreciated the help sometimes. Shiro was a great fighter, especially in hand-to-hand, which was Lance’s weakest point. Some days, they could spar for hours and end up laying on the training room floor, sweaty and laughing as they exchanged stories from their time at the Garrison.

Other times, Shiro seemed to fall victim to that pressure. Some days he seemed frustrated, and confessed to Lance once that his role as a leader felt diminished. He couldn’t help Pidge and Hunk, and Altean magic was completely out of his league. So what could he do as leader without anyone to lead?

It brought him to Lance. He would stand on the sidelines and give instruction and feedback while Lance shot drones, sliced through bots, and sparred with training dummies. 

“No, not like that,” Shiro called out as Lance threw a punch towards a dummy that failed to hit and left him sailing forward. “You’re putting too much forward momentum in. Your arm is like a lever; all the force goes there. Your body has to be stable so you can move as needed.”

“Like those old punching robot toys with the lever arms?”

Shiro snorted. “Sure, like that. But bigger.”

“I can do that,” he said. But as he repeated the same move, it became apparent that he couldn’t. He was too light on his feet, eager to move and throw himself into the fight. He didn’t have a stable foundation like Shiro or Hunk; he was built to be quick and dodgy.

“Shiro, this isn’t working,” he called after another failed attempt. “Maybe this isn’t my style. I could try working on using my legs more? They’re like a mile long, and I’ve got a great high kick.”

“You should be prepared to engage in all types of combat, Lance.” Shiro looked him over before nodding. “Try again.”

“Again? What do you think will change this time? I don’t have your body type, Shiro. I’m not made to stand in one spot and draw someone in. I’m better being sneaky and coming up from behind.”

“That’s not always an option, Lance. You need to be prepared for everything.” Shiro walked forward and stood beside Lance. “Here. Match my stance.”

Lance mirrored him, and Shiro made small adjustments. “Okay, you’re good. Now go again.”

Lance sighed, but obeyed. The robot came out again, once again quickly knocking Lance out of his position before sending him to the ground. “See? Stance only does so much when the enemy is way bigger or stronger than me.”

“You didn’t even throw a punch that time, Lance!” Shiro snapped. “Of course you got knocked down. Were you even listening to me?”

Lance rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I was. And it still didn’t work. But you’re not listening to _me_.”

“I’ll listen when you give me something worth listening to.”

Lance paused. “Excuse me?”

“Come on,” Shiro said as he walked forward. “Try it with me this time.”

“I don’t think-”

“Do it!”

Lance moved into position, though his knees shook below him. He held his arms up and glanced at Shiro wearily. “Like this?”

“Good enough. Now come at me.”

Lance lunged forward, keeping his weight backwards while propelling as much force as he could into his left arm. Shiro grabbed it immediately, his arm moving faster than Lance could even process, glowing pink fingers wrapped around his knuckles.

“You’re still too slow.”

Shiro threw his other hand against Lance’s forearm, tucked his shoulder beneath his arm, and yanked. Lance went flying over before being slammed to the ground, stars clouding his vision while his brain tried to figure out which direction he was facing. His head throbbed from the crack to the floor.

“Try again.”

“N...no,” Lance stammered as he tried to orient himself. “I think I’m done sparring today.”

“Oh? So you think you’re ready for this mission already? Everyone else is working hard for this. What are you doing?”

“I’m _trying_ , Shiro. What else do you want from me?”

“I want you to _listen_.”

_”I’m feeling so confused.”_

“Well, I can’t do that when you’re like this,” Lance said as he pushed himself up. “I’ll listen to the version of Shiro that deserves to be listened to.”

“Lance,” Shiro commanded as he began walking away. “You don’t get to-”

The door to the training room whirred shut behind him.  
__________

Was this normal anymore? Everyone else seemed to think so. Or maybe they just hadn’t noticed. Things had been busier than ever in the weeks leading up to the planned attack on Haggar, so Lance rarely saw his fellow paladins these days.

Except for one.

Shiro seemed to crop up wherever he was now. It was like he was constantly breathing down his neck, pushing him further and further. He said it was in everyone’s best interest; Pidge and Hunk had Coran to help them with Altean technology. Allura had Lotor and Coran to help her fully grasp her power. Everyone was relying on each other for help. 

Couldn’t Lance see that Shiro just wants to help him too? They’re teammates, aren’t they? Lance, why is it so hard to listen to what Shiro says lately? Is he trying be difficult? Everyone else has agreed to go along with this, haven’t they?

The tension feels like claws crawling up his neck, slow and not yet piercing but sharp enough to make him twitchy and flighty under the anxiety. But at the same time, any slight movement in the wrong direction could spell bad news for him.

Telling the others wasn’t that easy. He considered breaching the topic with Hunk, but he had been among the first to agree with Shiro’s plan, and Lance knew he meant it. He couldn’t bear to have someone else, let alone his best friend, tell him the same things Shiro had been telling him for weeks now.

Besides, Lance suspected something else was wrong. Something that maybe Shiro himself wasn’t even aware of. 

_”What happened there? I can’t remember any of it.”_

Bringing it up now would only throw a wrench in their plan and complicate things on the ship further. And who was to say the others would believe him? Or that Shiro wouldn’t retaliate if he mentioned this? Or if he was even _right_? 

Staying quiet sucked, but at least it only sucked for him. And Shiro was on their side. As long as Lance went along with things, they could keep fighting the Galra while he played the long game with whatever was going on with Shiro.

And maybe whatever was happening would… pass. Or at least stagnate while they became focused on the war. Lance could stick this out.

He was in the red lion, one of the only places he could truly avoid Shiro. His lion would only open for him, or maybe Keith, who wasn’t even there. If Shiro wanted to bother him, he would have to wait.

But that did _not_ mean he was hiding, no sir. Lance doesn’t hide, especially from his own teammates. He took time in the last stretch before their plan was to be executed to meditate in his lion, doing whatever he could to create a stronger bond like he had with the blue lion. They seemed to work well together, but there was something deeper there that could be connected. Maybe it would help him in the coming mission.

The anxiety had been pooling more and more in his stomach as the time came closer, and it felt like he was ready to burst. Between Shiro’s hounding, his lack of any time with his other teammates, and his own doubt in his abilities as a pilot and a fighter, this mission had really began to feel like a death trap. He couldn’t imagine this ending well at all.

Exhausted by his own worries, he gave up for the day. He was tired, hungry, and hadn’t made any progress in getting past the racing thoughts to really connect with the red lion anyways. It was time for a change in scenery and company. Maybe he could bring food to Hunk and Pidge? The chances that they had eaten that day were slim.

His plans were halted by Shiro, who had ran into him in the hangar bay.

“Is this where you’ve been? I’ve been looking for you all day.”

Lance froze on the spot, having hoped he could avoid any conversation with Shiro today. They seemed to almost always devolve into fights lately, and Shiro’s jabs had become more brutal. He seemed to only care about what he thought was best for the war effort anymore, with no regard for personal relationships or individual needs. The team was clearly strained under it, though everyone’s work had them too preoccupied with individual tasks for it to become noticeable.

“Oh really? What for?”

“Come on, Lance,” Shiro said with a sigh. “We don’t have much time left. You can’t just sit in your lion all day.”

“I was meditating,” Lance defended. “You used to do that, too. Or do you not remember that either?”

Shiro narrowed his eyes and stepped closer. “What do you mean by that?” he asked in a low voice.

“Just seems like you’re having trouble lately,” Lance said, trying to force as much concern as he could into his voice. Not that he wasn’t concerned; he was probably more concerned than he had ever shown. But Shiro was like a fuse, and Lance couldn’t seem to stop giving off sparks. It was easiest at this point to play nice.

When had that happened? Their arguments before made sense; they had different opinions about how to act in difficult situations. It was a little more harsh than it should’ve been, typically, but at least there were arguments about important things. And Lance had sworn to himself that he would defend his opinions and beliefs, even as much as he respected Shiro.

But he didn’t even try anymore. It felt like they were fighting about nothing. Like Shiro really did just want to start trouble for no reason.

_”It’s…”_

“I guess I’m not the only one. You seem to be having some trouble too.”

Lance took a small step backwards. Shiro was playing at something, and Lance didn’t know which way to turn to avoid it. He was tired of fighting.

“Shiro,” Lance said, nearly begging. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“I think you do,” Shiro continued, closing the distance between them again. “You’ve been avoiding me. Questioning me. What are you planning?”

“I’m not… nothing? I’m just trying to get ready for this mission.”

Shiro rolled his eyes. “Are you really? Because whenever I try to train with you or work with you on something you say you have something else to do, or you don’t think that’s a good idea. No more excuses. Are you planning on running off like Keith did?”

“What? No! And Keith didn’t… he’s with the Blade of Marmora, you know that…”

“First Pidge tried, then Keith left,” Shiro said with a growing scowl on his face. “Lotor is the only one who listens to me now, and he’s not even a paladin! I thought I was supposed to be the leader around here.”

“You are!”

“Then act like it, Lance!” Shiro said as he jabbed a finger into Lance’s chest. “The others are at least working towards my plan. But you still haven’t let go of your own ideas! The others agreed to go along with my plan, so why won’t you?”

Lance shoved Shiro back and stepped forward towards him. “Because you get like this! No one even dares to argue with you anymore because you’ve gone completely whack. But I’m the only one who will call you out on it, and you’re gonna get us all killed! Is that what you want?”

“How dare you-”

“I’m not hearing a no. God, ever since you got back after you went missing, it’s like you’re so angry all the time.”

“Don’t!”

“I don’t even know you anymore! And I don’t think you do either! I think you know just as well as I do that something is wrong. But we can’t exactly fix it when you do this-”

“I said that’s enough!”

Shiro lunged forward, eyes flashing, and Lance swore he saw yellow somewhere behind that fire. A glowing pink hand thrashed forward, metallic fingers grabbing him by the neck and bracing him up against the wall. The tips of his toes just barely reached the ground, and Lance threw his hands up to claw at the grip around his throat.

_”It’s like…”_

“I know what you’re trying to do. You want to turn the team against me so you can lead. You think I didn’t hear about how much you wanted the black lion to choose you while I was gone?”

“Shiro, I can’t…” Lance choked, breath cutting off again underneath the unbreakable grasp of his robotic hand.

“You’ve been coming for my position since we got here. But I am the leader, and the team follows me. So if you want to be part of the team, you follow me to. Got it?”

Lance tried to respond, tried to beg him to stop, but only managed a gargling gasp before losing the ability to make sound again.

“If you want to run, fine. Lotor can take a lion, and you can go do whatever it is you do best. But I’m not putting up with your little rebellion anymore. So shape up and do what you’re told, or get out.”

Shiro held him there for a moment longer, blank eyes cutting deep into him, his gaze the only think breaking through the haze that was fuzzing up his vision. Shiro growled once more before tossing him to the ground.

Lance immediately grabbed at his neck, collapsing on his side and struggling to draw in a breath. The heat building in his lungs and stomach immediately exploded into a flourish of pain throughout his whole body, sending him sucking in breaths of air that ached too hard but begged to be felt again.

“This isn’t… I don’t know… This isn’t how this was supposed to happen. What am I?” Shiro stammered, looking back and forth between the black lion and Lance on the ground. His hands gripped at his hair, the last remaining glow of his hand just beginning to fade. Lance could barely hear his rambling over the pulsing of blood in his ears and the strangled gasps escaping his throat.

Shiro turned suddenly and ran towards the door, letting the hangar doors close behind him without looking back. Lance stayed on the ground, barely able to choke in each small breath. Even if he wanted to chase after Shiro, his body refused to move.

Good thing he didn’t want to.  
__________

If Shiro even remembered what happened, he didn’t act like it. The invasion plan was only a few days away, and the others were nearly ready to begin. Lance could still feel the ache of bruises on his neck, but now was the worst possible time to bring them up. It could wait a few more days.

If they even lived that long.

Lance had taken to wearing his armor around the castle full time. Partially so he could always be ready for an emergency, partially to keep his neck covered so the others couldn’t see it, and partially to keep his neck covered so Shiro couldn’t grab it. The thought of it happening again sent shivers down Lance’s spine.

The only time he changed back into his usual clothes were in his bedroom. It might have been a risk, but the others didn’t come by very often now that they were working nearly nonstop. 

It was a surprise, then, when his door flew open one day without any warning.

“Ah!” Lance jumped, grabbing the edges of the hood around his shoulders and wrapping his jacket tighter around himself.

Keith stood in the doorway, looking similarly alarmed and confused.

“Uh… hi,” he said, looking to the wall on the other end of the room awkwardly.

“Keith?” Lance asked. “What are you doing here?”

Keith looked back to him. “Didn’t Shiro tell you? The Blade is helping on this mission. Thought I’d stop by and talk strategy beforehand. And, y’know… visit.”

“Visit?”

“I mean, I haven’t been here in a while. Thought I’d see how things were going.”

Lance snorted. “I’d say things have changed a bit since you left.”

“Yeah,” Keith agreed with a slight smile. “I don’t know if I can get used to the idea of Lotor being here.”

“Yeah, that’s… something.”

“Hey, what’s wrong with you?” Keith asked, and Lance startled before recoiling back. Keith smacked a hand to his face at his weary look. “Not… that was a bad way of saying it. The others say you’ve been distant lately. Hunk said you’re training all the time. You okay?”

“I… why do you care?” Lance asked. “Look, I’ll be on top of my game for the mission, so don’t worry about that. I’m not gonna ruin anything, or like… sabotage it, or whatever.”

“No, that’s not what I-” Keith said, shaking his head. “Why would you sabotage it?”

“I don’t know,” Lance said bitterly. “Why don’t you ask Shiro?”

“Shiro?” Keith looked even more confused by that, and his eyebrows narrowed. “What about Shiro?”

“Nothing!” Lance added quickly, throwing his hands up in front of him. “It’s fine. He and I have just been butting heads lately.”

He sighed, and his shoulders slumped. That was one way to put it.

“You’ve been… hey, what’s up with your neck?”

Lance jumped before grabbing his jacket once again. “Nothing! It’s fine. Totally good. I just did something stupid, but it’s totally fine and good.”

Keith rolled his eyes and smirked. “Well, I believe that you did something stupid. But I don’t believe that it’s totally fine after that.”

Lance let his hands fall down into his lap. “Look, just… it’s whatever. Doesn’t matter anymore.”

Keith stepped forward, coming to sit on the edge of the bed next to Lance. “Those… are those burns? And they’re shaped like…”

He hesitated before looking up to meet Lance’s eyes. “Someone strangled you?”

“Yeah, but it was my fault,” Lance said with a strained laugh. “I was being annoying, as usual.”

“That’s… it wasn’t a Galra bot or something? This wasn’t from a fight?”

Shit, Lance should’ve thought of that. He could have easily passed it off as some sort of attack from the Galra. It wasn’t like Keith was around to know they hadn’t encountered any Galra for weeks.

“I… it was! Yes! But they probably would’ve… let us off easy. I mean, they wanted us dead, but… it doesn’t matter, okay? It was just a Galra bot, and we destroyed it, so it doesn’t matter.”

“Lance,” Keith said with a sigh. God, he must be exhausted after everything he’s been up to. He doesn’t need Lance dumping his problems on him, especially right before a big mission. “Tell me the truth or I’m going to get Shiro.”

“ _Do not get Shiro._ ”

Keith blinked. “Wh… why?”

“Because he…” Shit, there was no coming back from this. He couldn’t do this right now. But Keith was there, and asking, and looking more interested in Lance’s own wellbeing than anyone had been in weeks. “He’s the one who did it.”

“What?” Keith asked, incredulous. “No, that’s not true. Shiro is the last person in the universe who would do that.”

“Yeah,” Lance said with a bitter laugh. His voice was barely audible over the lump in his throat, and he averted his eyes so Keith couldn’t see the tears pooling there. “He is.”

“I don’t-” Keith started before a knock sounded on the door.

“Lance?”

“Shit!” Lance whispered. “That’s Shiro now. Keith, you need to hide. Get behind my bunk.”

“What?”

“Please, just do it!” he begged, gently pushing him to the side so he could crouch out of view. Lance stood and walked to the door, stealing one glance backwards to make sure Keith was out of sight before opening it.

“Lance,” Shiro said, deadpan.

Lance sighed tiredly. “Yeah?”

Shiro’s eyes drifted downwards to his neck. His eyes flashed for a moment before returning back to their blank stare. “Where is Keith at?”

“I don’t know,” Lance said, fighting to keep his voice from wavering. If Shiro caught him in a lie, there was no telling how things would escalate. “He stopped by a few minutes ago then left. I didn’t ask where he was going.”

“Hmm. What did he say to you?”

Lance shrugged. “Just that he was here to help out with the mission and wanted to stop by and see how we were doing.” That much, at least, was true.

The whole reason Lance told Keith to hide was so that Shiro wouldn’t filter himself while they spoke. He was here to prove a point. Yet with Shiro towering over him, that glazed over look in his eyes yet again, Lance wanted nothing more than for Shiro to leave him alone. 

“And did you say anything to him?”

“Not really,” he said, biting his lip as his voice rose in pitch. “I didn’t know he was coming. He thought you would’ve told me.”

“Well, I had to be sure you didn’t sink your claws into him,” Shiro said. “I figured you’d try to turn him against the plan. If the Blade pulled out, we’d be forced to do it alone.”

“You… you’d still go through with the plan without him? As if it wasn’t dangerous enough going into the belly of the beast, you’d be sending us straight to our death.”

“And there it is again,” he said as the cold tone returned to his voice. “I’m tired of hearing you say this.”

“Yeah, well, I’m lucky I can even speak anymore,” Lance shot back. If Shiro was here to pick a fight anyways, he wasn’t going to roll over and take it.

“Unfortunately for me, you still can,” Shiro growled. “You need to stop with this, or I’ll make sure you don’t have the voice to undermine my authority anymore.”

“Are you threatening me?” Lance asked, half challenging and half terrified. God, he wished he was wearing his armor. Not even his room was safe anymore.

“I’m keeping my _soldier_ in _line_. If you go around making everyone doubt me like this, no one will follow me as leader, and all of us will be doomed. I’ll do what it takes to keep this team together.” He leaned forward and grabbed at the collar of Lance’s jacket, holding him in his face. “We’re fighting in a war, and it’s time you _act like it_.”

Lance shoved him back, praying that Keith didn’t choose now to come out. “ _Do not touch my neck ever again_.”

“Well if you-”

“No!” Lance shouted, pushing him through the doorway. “Leave me alone! I don’t want to talk to you until it’s time for the mission. Until then, just leave me alone.”

Shiro opened his mouth to argue, but Lance shut the door in his face and locked it before he could continue. A loud clattering startled him, the sound of metal on metal as Shiro banged on the door, screaming for Lance to let him in. When Lance refused, the noise died off before Shiro finally left, promising to be back later.

Lance sighed a breath of relief before slowly turning back around. Keith sat crouched on the ground, staring up at Lance in awe.

Lance slid to the floor beside his bed. Who was he kidding? Shiro was Keith’s best friend, his brother. And Lance had always been a troublemaker. Maybe he was deluding himself; maybe he had been too out of line lately. Shiro was trying to help them win a war. He couldn’t afford to have his team question his authority.

“That’s not...” Keith began.

“I know, he’s just trying to keep me from ruining the mission, but I can’t help it. I just don’t trust him. But I get it, we can’t have me going around-”

“That’s not right.”

He startled and looked up at Keith, who was staring at the wall looking confused out of his mind. Lance tried to force down the feelings of hope and relief rising in his chest. “What?”

“That wasn’t Shiro. Not the one I know. What happened here?”

“Yeah,” Lance said with a huffed out attempt at a laugh. “I told you things had changed.”

“I don’t get it,” Keith continued. “It’s like…”

“Like he’s not himself?” Lance finished. “Maybe he isn’t.”

Keith whirled to face him, looking furious. “He’s been doing this to you guys for weeks now?”

“Uh, just me, mostly. We’ve all been kind of doing our own thing. Hunk and Pidge are working on the ship, so Shiro leaves them alone. And Coran and Lotor are helping Allura with her alchemy stuff, so he’s out of his element there. He’s mostly been helping me train and… stuff. But I guess he gets mad at all of us, yeah.”

“Has he hurt you before? I mean, aside from…” Keith trailed off as his eyes drifted down to Lance’s neck. “...that?”

“Not really. I mean, we were sparring the one day, and I told him things weren’t working for me, so he made me fight him. But he flipped me pretty hard and I hit my head. I guess he’s grabbed me a few times too. But this was,” Lance said, letting his fingers gently brush against the skin of his neck. “This was a one time thing.”

“It didn’t sound like it would be for long, based on what he was saying to you.”

“It’s fine, Keith,” Lance said with an exhausted sigh. “I mean, it’s whatever. We’ll just get this mission done and the stress will go away and it’ll go back to normal, I’m sure. He’s just tense.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Look, I’m the king of being tense, but I don’t go and _strangle someone about it_. I don’t think… I think he might not be in the right mind to execute this mission.”

He pushed the heels of his hands against his eyes. “God, I’m so stupid. I knew this mission was risky, too. Which is pretty typical for me, but not for Shiro. He’s supposed to be the sensible one. None of this is okay.”

Lance swallowed nervously before looking back to the door. “So… what now?”

Keith sighed. “Now we go tell the team what’s going on and rethink this whole plan. It’s too late in the game to come up with a new plan for our initial invasion date, but maybe with the Blade and the other rebels around we can at least come up with a better solution.”

“And Shiro?”

“I don’t know,” Keith said after a moment. “I don’t know if he’s too dangerous to have around. We might need to… have him step back for a bit.”

Lance shivered. “He won’t like that.”

“Well, he doesn’t have a choice. I hate going behind his back like this, and I know that this kind of risk for the sake of the war is supposed to be the Blade’s way, but this is too far. We can’t have a wild card in the mix right now.”

Lance snorted. “Wow, these Marmora guys really turned you into a new person, huh?”

Keith smirked and shoved him gently. “Shut up, I’ve changed too. That was the whole point of leaving.”

“Yeah…” Lance said, the smile dying on his face. “Are you gonna come back now? If Shiro can’t lead?”

Keith sighed. “I might have to. But who knows? Maybe you’ll start a track record of taking my old lions.”

“Shut up, you act like I’m copying you.”

“I call it as I see it. I hear you have a cool new sword now?”

“Hey, my sword is way cooler than yours was!”

“Right, I’m sure. You ready to go now?”

Lance paused, but nodded. “Yeah. I guess. Will you come with me? Back me up?”

Keith smiled. “We fight on the same team for months and you refuse to ask me for backup, but now you’re fine with it?”

“Sorry, I’m just-”

“I’m kidding, dummy. Let’s go. You can tell me all about your original plan on the way. Sounds like we’ll need a new one.”

Lance grinned and jumped up, marching towards the door with a sudden newfound confidence. “Yes, you gotta listen to my ideas! So I was thinking…”

Keith just rolled his eyes with a fond smile and followed.

**Author's Note:**

> Whoa, I'm back from hiatus! For about a week, and then I'll disappear again. And then hopefully be back? I have a few things to work on and I'm hoping to get one more story out (not Voltron) before being gone for a bit again. But who knows! Life is an absolute shitshow and I don't know what's going on anymore.
> 
> Anyways, thanks anon for this prompt! Sorry it took me literal months to write? I hope I made up for that by writing almost 6k words. I really enjoyed writing it, and this definitely got me back into the swing of things. Hope you like it!


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